Week 17: Eat 1/2 cup beans each day this week.
Barry J.
Good morning. I’m having coffee and oatmeal while wearing my Jif socks. I think it’s funny that my comfort foods used to be chocolate and sausage, and now oatmeal and Jif feel like home to me. Not that I need comfort right now, I’m just working through some things that I’ve been confused about lately, or possibly most of my whole life. But I have this saying about confusion. Confusion is good – it means you’re searching for something. Pretty deep huh? Like a mud puddle in the road.
The work party I went to last night was a lot of fun. The Casino went all out on food and drink, and they even had a Bob Seger tribute band playing. If you don’t know who Bob Seger is Bing it, Google it, or ask Cindy Harris.
Maribeth, Teddy, Kyle and a bunch of other craps dealers were there. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned Tony before, but he was there too and he’s a great guy. Whenever we go out he gives me great advice on how to meet women in large social gatherings, and considering last night there were over 200 women at the party, he was coaching like Milt Thompson (Phillies batting coach). No, I didn’t strike out. I didn’t get up to bat. I don’t date people I work with. Tony laughed at me when I told him this, but thought it was a wise decision in the long run. He did ask me a question that added to my confusion. He goes “Baar, you don’t go out to bars, you don’t go to church, and you’re not going to date anybody you work with. Do you have a laboratory at your apartment I don’t know about where you’re building a woman?” Now mind you, this was meant as a joke, not to be mean. Tony has a very strong Italian sense of humor and has made me laugh out loud more than anybody else in our class over the past fourteen weeks, so I looked at him and said, “I’m just waiting for your Mom to have another daughter so I can date her in thirty years or so.” He has like four brothers and six sisters, but the funny part is that his Mom is eighty-five years old. He was in the middle of taking a drink and sprayed it all over Kyle when he started laughing, which was priceless.
I’m not worried about finding anyone. I’m worried about why the garbanzo beans I’m eating aren’t giving me any gas jokes. I thought for sure I’d be repeating some pretty funny stuff. But nope, nothing.
I hope everybody has a great day and gives Kyle a towel.
Later,
Barry J
